We can learn so much from each other when we are willing to openly share our struggles and triumphs.
This week’s post describes some remarkable articles written by people either living with PD or looking back from long lives.
If you are thinking about writing about your life with PD, go for it! The process may be cathartic for you and others who read it online or elsewhere. You might consider contributing to Share Your Story, described at the end of this post.
Coming Out
These two articles (links below) were first published in the Wall Street Journal and Forbes Magazine. The author, Bret Parker, sent them to us. Here are some excerpts:
Someone who is 43 years old shouldn’t have Parkinson’s. Someone who has young children couldn’t have Parkinson’s. For a long time, silence seemed logical. As long as my Parkinson’s was not impacting my day-to-day functioning, no one had to know. When I was first diagnosed, my symptoms were almost impossible to detect and there wasn’t for my family or friends “to do” so I figured it wasn’t worth telling people. I certainly didn’t want to worry anyone, especially my two young sons. And even though Young Onset Parkinson’s usually progresses slowly and it could be years before I am significantly affected, I didn’t want this impacting my career. I’m not so disabled that I can’t work – I certainly don’t want people to make decisions about me with some misplaced stigma.
So even though I shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed about something I didn’t choose, I’ve kept this to myself for years. Yet, my secret slowly ate away at me. As my Parkinson’s progressed, one small noticeable symptom after the next, what began as a secret felt like it was becoming a lie.
As I contemplated how I would finally reveal my condition, I realized that my secrecy was not protecting me at all. Rather, it was my way of denying that I have this chronic disease and controlling the one thing I could control – how many people know I have Parkinson’s.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/randalllane/2012/03/12/the-last-workplace-secret/
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304723304577368260408723038.html
Life Report
The NYT columnist David Brooks has asked readers over 70 to submit essays to his “Life Report” blog evaluating their lives. One of the most frequently read posts in the popular collection is the story of Charkes Snelling and wife, Adrienne, who developed Alzheimer’s disease. Writing about caring for Adriene, Snelling says: “It’s not noble, it’s not sacrificial and it’s not painful. It’s just right in the scheme of things.”
Take a deep breath. Here is what comes next. Mr. Snelling killed his wife and himself a few months after he wrote these devoted words. Brooks wrote an op-ed piece about the murder-suicide that is thought-provoking. His readers had equally poignant things to say:
- I found Snelling's account heartbreaking and deeply moving. I sensed his devoted love in every word. Reading it with the knowledge that he had made that dreadful decision only gave it more resonance. I came out of it with one overriding thought: I hope I can love and be loved like that in my life. The rest is headlines.
- We only learn our limits when we are forced to go beyond them. While I might not agree with Mr. Snelling's decision, I certainly understand. And sympathize.
The Life Report: http://brooks.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/01/the-life-report-regina-titus
Share Your Story
Everyone's experience of living with Parkinson's is unique. The Parkinson’s Disease foundation offers a program called Share Your Story where people living with Parkinson's write about the challenges and joys of living with the disease. Titles of recent stories include: Jewish Theology of Parkinson's Disease, “Attitude.” and “The Shadow.” Three guesses what the shadow is! To read other’s stories or tell your own: http://www.pdf.org/en/personal_stories
Betsy